Banana Counting Monkey

Friday, April 05, 2002:

I Can Answer That

I'm sure this rhymes a lot better in arabic.

At Egypt's top Islamic institute, the Cairo-based Al-Azhar Mosque, some 2,000 protesters called for Arab military intervention, chanting: "One, two, where is the Arab army?"

Let's see. Waiting for Russian bullets, French spare parts and US foreign aid.

BCM // 11:07 AM



Neal Boortz


"It's crazy!"

So sayeth a senior at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. He's upset because the university is
going to start charging eight cents per page for every sheet of paper he prints from the campus
computer labs. Students are outraged .. they say it's not fair. The university pays about $110,000 a
year for this printing ... and students are griping because they have to foot the bill.

Now --- here's why this upsets me. These very same students will soon be out of school and out there
presumably earning a living. The federal government will force them to take nearly 15 percent of each
paycheck to invest in a hideous and risky income redistribution scheme known as Social Security. At
best these former UWM students will get a one to one and one-half percent return on the money. Will
they gripe? Will they complain? Will they sign petitions? Probably not. Nor will they complain about
forking out over 40 percent of their annual income in various taxes.

Don't bother them with the big stuff. It's the eight cents per page that counts.

BCM // 7:31 AM


Thursday, April 04, 2002:

To Israel, Bush said they should show respect and concern for the dignity of the Palestinian people. Reports from the region have indicated long waits at armed checkpoints for Palestinians traveling into Israeli territories, with the people being searched for explosives. The actions have been decried as demeaning and humiliating to those traveling to and from work.

Can a people who view self immolation as a good thing be said to have any diginity?

BCM // 1:21 PM


Colin's Magical Mystery Tour

Colin Powell is being sent to the Middle East. Cheney was over there last week, and I think Tenet is still over there. Hopefully Powell can use magic to solve the crisis, because nothing else has worked so far, and wishful thinking often relies on the existence of magic. Or is it vice versa? If there was ever going to be an act of magic, it would have to be in the Middle East, bacuase there's enough wishful thinking floating around there than oil.

If Colin doesn't have magic, then what he's going to do is a mystery.

Why doesn't George just pack up Condi, Ashcroft, Daschle, Rumsfield and his own bags and head over now? Or is it just part of the stalling game until enough JDAMs have been manufactured to take out Iraq?

BCM // 12:27 PM


Wednesday, April 03, 2002:

Essential Reading

The Death of Socialism", by Roger Kimball. (Via Media Minded)

BCM // 12:55 PM



Whose name sounds remarkably like a certain Rowan Atkinson creation, which isn't the only similarity, has been stirring up quite the shitstorm in the blogsphere since yesterday. Welcome to the Blogsphere's first flame war. It's pretty dammed obvious that he was poking the bear looking for some sound and fire, and he's succeeded in spades. Everyone else has ripped him appart sixteen ways to sunday, so i really don't have to bother. I forget who said it, but the suggestion was that he was hit- whoring for the Boston Globe. Tut-tut-tut. Really, it would have been far more effective to just say something like "Britney spears naked" or "Star Wars Episode II spoilers" or "hot sex" or, to take a page from GWAR, "necro-beastial-anal-buttsex"

Okay, I'm trolling now. mea culpa, I need to recover the hits I lost from my little hiatus. Sue me if you dare.

BCM // 12:31 PM


Right To The Horse's Mouth

Check out the IDF's website for more info on
the weapons and counterfeit money seized in Arafat's compound. Very very interesting. Here's a summary of some of the weapons they found in the compound.

Is anyone going to claim that a Police force needs this kind of arsenal?

Wait, of course, I'm deluding myself. There'll be plenty of people who will claim that.

From the text of the IDF's announcements.

Leading Wanted Suspects Arrested During the Ramallah Operation
A'a Kareem Awiss, born in 1970 and from the Jenin area, is a leading Tanzim activist who was personally involved in numerous attacks against Israel, in addition to dispatching suicide bombers. In December 2001, Kareem Awiss was arrested by Palestinian security forces in Samaria and transferred to Ramallah for "high security incarceration."
In actuality, the Palestinian security forces granted Awiss complete freedom of movement to continue organizing his murderous attacks. During his stay in Ramallah, he collaborated with other Tanzin operatives from Ramallah, particularly Marwan Bargouti, in order to carry out the attacks.

During his interrogation by the General Security Services, A'a Kareem Awiss admitted to committing the following attacks during the current round of Palestinian violence against Israel:
1. Planting a mine on the Jenin bypass road.
2. Participation in 3 shooting attacks on the Jenin bypass road.
3. Construction of mortars and mortar bombs, with operatives from Jenin.
4. Firing mortars at Kadim.
5. Preparing an explosive device for a terrorist cell in Dir Hana. The device was planted at the Golani Jct.
6. Preparation of explosive devices for a Tanzim cell in Ramallah.
7. Dispatching two suicide bombers, in collaboration with the Islamic Jihad from Jenin, to attack Afula.
8. Dispatching, in collaboration with Tanzim activists in Samaria, of the suicide bomber to King George Street in Jerusalem. In that 21 March attack, 3 Israelis were killed and 35 others wounded.

Awiss, together with Mahmoud Gorassi, an Islamic Jihad military activist from Jenin, are responsible for the 12 August 2001 suicide bombing in Kiryat Motzkin that wounded 14 civilians. They also attempted a second suicide bombing on 16 August 2001.

Ah yes, the Israeli incursions into the West Bank solve nothing. Except first ensuring that Mr. Awiss does not a) dispatch more suicide bombers b) plant mines c) make sniper attacks d) fire mortars etc. Every weapon confiscated is a weapon that will not be used to murder Israelis. Every pound of explosive confiscated is a pound that will not be used to make explosive belts so a homicide bomber can kill Israelis going about their business.

The Israeli actions solve nothing you see. They haven't pinned down over a hundred Palestinian gunmen in a church who now cannot shoot at Israelis or fire rockets, manufacture bombs or stroll down King George Street looking for a concentration of Israelis to detonate in.

The Israeli violence solves absolutely nothing. Really.

BCM // 11:51 AM


Lenin Would Recognize

Modern day "useful idiots"

BCM // 8:42 AM


Time's Cover Story

"All Boxed In", with a picture of Arafat on the cover, looking like a lost child in the dark.

The box isn't small enough yet. I was thinking something in pine.

BCM // 7:07 AM


Holed Up In A Church

Palestinian gunmen
hiding out in the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem.

Hate to say it, but what's the big deal? It's not as if the Church would have survived as a Church for much longer under the PA's control anyway. Remember what happened to other synagogues in PA controlled areas? Taken over and converted into Mosques. If gunmen habitually hide behind civillians, it really shouldn't be a suprise that they'd use a holy site for cover.

One can only imagine the difference in reaction if the IDF used a mosque as a base of operations. The tone I'm seeing in the media is much more "oh those Israelis, laying seige to a church! How appaling!"

BCM // 7:06 AM


Banana Axioms For Life

1: Measure Twice, Cut Once

2: It's Never As Bad As You Think it will Be.

Yes, yes, my new self-help book "Bananas for Life" will be surpassing Michael Moore's latest Opus any day now. If he can do it, how hard can it be? What was the old saw about an infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters will eventually produce the works of Shakespeare?
Which of course, is pure bullshit.

BCM // 6:28 AM


Quote of the Day

Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so.

Lord Chesterfield (1694 - 1773)

But..but.. can you just show them?

BCM // 6:19 AM



I was going home on the subway last night and ran into some protestors carrying signs. "Put the heart back into medicare: No Profits!"

This makes no sense to me. If I buy a can of Pepsi from the corner store, the owner makes a profit. Buying a can of pop is a completely unimportant transaction that has no long term effects on me. I don't know anyone who objects to the owner making a profit on supplying me with that can.

On the other hand, if I receive surgery that saves my life, I'm supposed to object to the surgeon making a profit on that? Hello! I want the surgeon to be well compensated for saving my life! What kind of whacked morality regards making a profit on something irrelevant as okay, but absolutely vital as "wrong"?

Who is more deserving of making a profit? The surgeon who saves my life or the guy selling me a can of pop?

BCM // 6:04 AM


Monday, April 01, 2002:

Thank You Lawrence

Lawrence Garvin
gives perfect voice to the frustration many of us in Ontario feel about the Canadian Alliance's continuing internal bloodsports.

Being another Ontarian, I actually don't know many people who vote Liberal. Most people loathe the Liberals, but feel that voting Alliance is a waste of time. I really cannot blame them for thinking as they do.

BCM // 11:17 AM


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